It’s like crying, if something really upsets you, a little cry can get it out of your system, then you can move on and be positive and make the change.

If you cry all day and all night, nothing will get better.

Be negative, but be positive a whole lot more.

(I’m sure he won’t read this, but maybe someone here knows how to pass this on?)

It really depends on your definition of “ill”. It *is* normal for infants and children to constantly have mild colds/runny nose/ear aches etc.

They do have–like the rest of their bodies–immature immune systems and catch a lot of the viruses and other minor ailments that adults don’t get–mostly because we got them when we were infants.

However if they’re getting *serious* illnesses, that’s a different ball o whacks.

In 1999 I felt pretty healthy, but I thought maybe I had the beginnings of acid reflux and went for some tests. Turns out I had a tumor the size of a softball on my right kidney. It had a ‘tail’ that had grown through a main vein almost to my heart.

The surgeon who cut my liver in half and removed the tumor, and my kidney and adrenal gland, told me he “got it all” but there was a 50/50 chance that it would come back, and that if it did it would “go to your lungs, then your bones, then your brain, then kill you”. (horrible bedside manner, brilliant surgeon.) 3 months later, my first follow up CT scan showed cancer in my lungs. I had just turned 40. My sons were 5 and 7.

I started on medication. It was the best they have for metasticised kidney cancer. It works “some” about 15% of the time. It gets rid of all the cancer, at least temporarily, less than 5% of the time. (hence the surgeons “it will kill you prediction”)

Between the surgery and the meds I went quickly from 185 lbs to 145. For reasons I have yet to figure out, because of this medicine, which is the best they have but does not work for most people, I’m still alive.

Within a year (when I got to 165 lbs) I started back to the boxing gym and full contact kickboxing. (my doctor still doesn’t know). I suck at boxing. I’m not being modest, I really suck. I’m a trainer’s nightmare. I suck at kickboxing too. I have sucked at both for a long time. (I have also, at various times in my life, sucked at: tae kwon do, hapkido, bjj,and various Filipino martial arts.)

But that’s not the point. I lost it all for a year. Thought I was going to lose everything, forever. That’s a long-ass time. You can’t imagine how much you appreciate your sons, your wife, your family, your job, your crappy car, bad weather, even warm beer, after.

But that’s not all this is about. This is about all of the people who can’t be here to tell you to stop whining and appreciate every minute of your life. The people who I used to see at my oncologists office who I don’t see anymore. This is about Jenny, and David, and Sally. This is about Tommy who got cancer at the same time I did. 40 years old, 6′1″, 240 lbs., a lineman on the Fire Department football team and marathoner, at 240 lbs ! 2 sons the same age as mine. Wanted so much to live for his sons he took twice as much chemo as his doctor had given anyone before. He didn’t live 12 months. This is about my dad. And many, many others. In the abstract, maybe they don’t mean anything to you. You didn’t know them.

You didn’t talk to them. You didn’t look into their eyes, after they knew. After they knew that they were out of time. That they wouldn’t be there to walk their daughter down the aisle, to hear their first grandchild’s laughter, to comfort their wife, to teach their son’s how to grow up to be men, to grow old. No more love, no more exhilaration, no more wonder, awe, curiosity, satisfaction,joy.

Maybe it’s different for me because every few months I get CT scans and see my doctor to find out if my cancer is back. And get to see which of my friends is dead. Trust me, when I finish every day, I want to feel like there’s no juice left to squeeze out of it. But everyone would appreciate life more in that circumstance, right ?

So go ahead. Convince yourself how bad you’ve got it. How ‘unlucky’ you’ve been. . That people have no right to be happy because of what a miserable, sad place the world is. What you would do with your life if only you had been given ‘better breaks’, a different family, more money, better genetics, whatever. Keep convincing yourself you’ve got every right to be bitter, negative, unhappy or disappointed.

Keep wasting the beautiful gift you’ve been given, until it’s gone.

I listen to this songs today and feel uplifted:
Moonstomp, Wet Dreams, and Banana by the Aggrolites!

Cheers!

With the right word choice, almost any point can be successfully argued.

Ultimately however, bitching about a problem does little. There are enough problems in the world (ex. Darfur genocide) to depress everyone. But this doesn’t mean that we should all give up on life. Personally, I’d rather stay positive. Rather than bitching about problems, I do my best to fix problems. Action always speaks louder than words.

Take our nation’s struggle with obesity for example. The problem is real and recognizable in every city in this country. Bitching about obesity won’t fix anything however. I’m realistic, but also optimistic. I realize that I can’t save the world, but I know that I can make a difference on a smaller scale. I stay positive, striving to help one person at a time. This approach nets a greater end result (as opposed to bitching about it).

If people spent less time bitching, and more time acting, the world would be a better place. Clearly, we shouldn’t pretend that problems don’t exist. That would be ridiculous. We can however spend more time working towards solutions. This means really trying to make a difference, rather than sitting back and hoping that someone else will.

Bitching about a problem doesn’t fix the problem. 9 out of 10 times, nothing will result from the bitch session, aside from bringing down the person who had to listen to it. No single person can fix all of the problems in the world, but if everyone decided to work towards fixing at least one, we would likely make some realistic progress. By staying positive (for the most part, as no one is perfect), you’ll get more done and share more positive energy with those around and in contact with you.

Ross

If the population of the world has a generally negative attitude it’s my belief that it is there for a reason, and that reason is that the world’s primary issues are loaded with negativity. Hunger, Shelter, Genocides, etc. these are issues where there is no positive spin and I think people SHOULD be bitching. And be bitching about them constantly. Put the negative aspects of life in full view so that they are sitting there nagging to be addressed.

For me personally, its not an issue of positivity/negativity because the boundaries are arbitrarily set. One man’s negativity is another man’s logical caution. The big issue to me is locus of control and social perspective, both of which if deficient can cause the symptom of senseless whining.

http://nkhuong.com/blog/bruce-lee-personal-growth/

Also, I have added you to my blog roll. Thanks for all the great info and insight!

In Health,

-Nhan