Life Is Tough, Deal With It!
In a recent blog entry, I discussed the negative attitude that is prevalent is much of our society. Everyone has something to bitch about, and the negative byproduct from this piss poor attitude is literally everywhere you look. Not everyone agrees with my entry however. One response was that people need to be aware of what is going on in the world. They argued that it isn’t realistic to live with a happy-go-lucky attitude, as such an attitude would indicate a lack of awareness.
Unfortunately for the responder, his argument has more holes than you’ll find at a shooting range. Living without 24/7 negativity has nothing to do with awareness. It also has nothing to do with running around like a flower child with no worries or problems. I don’t need to hear you gripe about gas prices to realize that they have gone up, and I don’t need to like it. When I fill my tank, the prices are listed in plain view. I’m aware, but I won’t let it ruin the rest of my day. Living without constant negativity has nothing to do with a lack of awareness.
Being aware of a situation is different from letting the situation dictate, influence, and ruin your life. I don’t run around all day ignorant to the fact that there are problems in the world. I’ve been around some true hell-holes and dealt with some true scumbags. I know it is out there, but I don’t dwell on it all day. When you are negative, it’s easy to bring down the people around you. It becomes a domino effect. Much of the world is caught up in this game of dominos. Fortunately, it’s easy to step out of the game. Just do it. It’s that easy. You can change who you are as a person whenever you want. You don’t need to be defined by who you were in the past. Move on.
You’ll then realize that much of the problems that you once bitched about really aren’t so bad when you look at the big picture. Life is tough, but much of what the world considers tough is far from it. There are plenty of people with bigger problems than you and I. Living without constant negativity doesn’t mean you’ll become problem-free. It simply means that you’ll be able to live your life without it being defined by the problem.
Need an example? Check the video below. Watch Mike Hummel bench press 600 pounds. Obviously, 600 pounds is pretty damn impressive, but it’s much more impressive when you learn that he is benching with one arm! I don’t know the full story, but he has a prosthetic arm from the elbow down. He has lived with the prosthetic for a few years (that is all I know).
Can you imagine losing your arm tomorrow? I’m guessing you’d be pretty bummed out. I know I would be. I’m sure no one would have faulted Mike if he had given up powerlifting. But guess what? He didn’t let the incident define him. He’s gone through extensive rehab and is back benching a hell of a lot more than most could with 4 arms, nevermind 2.
Ross
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Insane. I struggle with that negativity you are talking about all the time. More so when I don’t work out regular. I try to teach positive thinking to my kids as well. That is what usually snaps me out of it Strong mind/ strong body. Thanks for the pick me up.
Mike
This constant negativity reminds me something bt different – my little nieces are ill too much in my opinion. Every two weeks or so and again IMHO it’s too often.
But other always complain – ‘Hey it’s normal, they are small, very little immunity, they share diseases (transfer them to each other and back) they visit kinder garden and again they got ill from other children…
Is it normal to be almost constantly ill when you are child ? In my opinion it’s not. So is it normal to be constanly in bad mood because everyone else is ? Is it normal ?
Who wants to be ‘normal’ anyway ?
Normal is not something to aspire to, it’s something to get away from.—Jodie Foster
I liked this post and i definitely agree with ur message. At the end of the day regardless of your situation you have one of two choices to make, are you busy living or are you busy dying.
Very true, Ross…Too much good in life to look for the bad to complain about. I get irked at certain things but realize it’s not the end of the world. I hate gas prices, who doesn’t but we need gas to get to work and basically live. I do have a lot to be thankful for. I’ve also noticed how one negative person can literally sap the morale of an entire group or team.
Gil
It’s a good this that you’ve entered these two posts about negativity. I know a lot of people who tend to be unhappy for no good reason (if such reasons even exist). And their mood REALLY influences everyone around them in a very negative way!
On the other hand, positivism has the exact opposite effect; both on yourself and other people around you. Time on time again I find out I get a lot more done when I’m positive.
Positivism might be the best thing you can go for in life, as it makes all good things happen.
Thanks for these posts. From now on, I will focus even more on a positive mindset. I hope everyone who read these posts does the same!
I have found that few people will *really listen* to your problems and those same people are MORE likely to want to hear about your success.
Awesome post, I really think it hits home. Please check out my commentary.
http://nkhuong.com/blog/bruce-lee-personal-growth/
Also, I have added you to my blog roll. Thanks for all the great info and insight!
In Health,
-Nhan
Negativity isn’t always bad. Without negative emotions that are so deeply embedded into a person’s or group’s psyche would it even be possible to stir up the sort of passion on a large scale to create movements for change in society? I mean a conviction fueled by negativity isn’t weaker than one fueled by positivity. I mean you can say that being positive doesn’t mean being a hippy but you can also say that being negative doesn’t mean being a grouch, couldn’t you?
If the population of the world has a generally negative attitude it’s my belief that it is there for a reason, and that reason is that the world’s primary issues are loaded with negativity. Hunger, Shelter, Genocides, etc. these are issues where there is no positive spin and I think people SHOULD be bitching. And be bitching about them constantly. Put the negative aspects of life in full view so that they are sitting there nagging to be addressed.
For me personally, its not an issue of positivity/negativity because the boundaries are arbitrarily set. One man’s negativity is another man’s logical caution. The big issue to me is locus of control and social perspective, both of which if deficient can cause the symptom of senseless whining.
Sean,
With the right word choice, almost any point can be successfully argued.
Ultimately however, bitching about a problem does little. There are enough problems in the world (ex. Darfur genocide) to depress everyone. But this doesn’t mean that we should all give up on life. Personally, I’d rather stay positive. Rather than bitching about problems, I do my best to fix problems. Action always speaks louder than words.
Take our nation’s struggle with obesity for example. The problem is real and recognizable in every city in this country. Bitching about obesity won’t fix anything however. I’m realistic, but also optimistic. I realize that I can’t save the world, but I know that I can make a difference on a smaller scale. I stay positive, striving to help one person at a time. This approach nets a greater end result (as opposed to bitching about it).
If people spent less time bitching, and more time acting, the world would be a better place. Clearly, we shouldn’t pretend that problems don’t exist. That would be ridiculous. We can however spend more time working towards solutions. This means really trying to make a difference, rather than sitting back and hoping that someone else will.
Bitching about a problem doesn’t fix the problem. 9 out of 10 times, nothing will result from the bitch session, aside from bringing down the person who had to listen to it. No single person can fix all of the problems in the world, but if everyone decided to work towards fixing at least one, we would likely make some realistic progress. By staying positive (for the most part, as no one is perfect), you’ll get more done and share more positive energy with those around and in contact with you.
Ross
I always look at Jamaica in the 60’s… Lots of folks getting killed, so much sorrow, but it was the golden era of Ska/Roots Reggae…
I listen to this songs today and feel uplifted:
Moonstomp, Wet Dreams, and Banana by the Aggrolites!
Cheers!
Negativity, bitching – it’s all a waste of your life.
In 1999 I felt pretty healthy, but I thought maybe I had the beginnings of acid reflux and went for some tests. Turns out I had a tumor the size of a softball on my right kidney. It had a ‘tail’ that had grown through a main vein almost to my heart.
The surgeon who cut my liver in half and removed the tumor, and my kidney and adrenal gland, told me he “got it all” but there was a 50/50 chance that it would come back, and that if it did it would “go to your lungs, then your bones, then your brain, then kill you”. (horrible bedside manner, brilliant surgeon.) 3 months later, my first follow up CT scan showed cancer in my lungs. I had just turned 40. My sons were 5 and 7.
I started on medication. It was the best they have for metasticised kidney cancer. It works “some” about 15% of the time. It gets rid of all the cancer, at least temporarily, less than 5% of the time. (hence the surgeons “it will kill you prediction”)
Between the surgery and the meds I went quickly from 185 lbs to 145. For reasons I have yet to figure out, because of this medicine, which is the best they have but does not work for most people, I’m still alive.
Within a year (when I got to 165 lbs) I started back to the boxing gym and full contact kickboxing. (my doctor still doesn’t know). I suck at boxing. I’m not being modest, I really suck. I’m a trainer’s nightmare. I suck at kickboxing too. I have sucked at both for a long time. (I have also, at various times in my life, sucked at: tae kwon do, hapkido, bjj,and various Filipino martial arts.)
But that’s not the point. I lost it all for a year. Thought I was going to lose everything, forever. That’s a long-ass time. You can’t imagine how much you appreciate your sons, your wife, your family, your job, your crappy car, bad weather, even warm beer, after.
But that’s not all this is about. This is about all of the people who can’t be here to tell you to stop whining and appreciate every minute of your life. The people who I used to see at my oncologists office who I don’t see anymore. This is about Jenny, and David, and Sally. This is about Tommy who got cancer at the same time I did. 40 years old, 6′1″, 240 lbs., a lineman on the Fire Department football team and marathoner, at 240 lbs ! 2 sons the same age as mine. Wanted so much to live for his sons he took twice as much chemo as his doctor had given anyone before. He didn’t live 12 months. This is about my dad. And many, many others. In the abstract, maybe they don’t mean anything to you. You didn’t know them.
You didn’t talk to them. You didn’t look into their eyes, after they knew. After they knew that they were out of time. That they wouldn’t be there to walk their daughter down the aisle, to hear their first grandchild’s laughter, to comfort their wife, to teach their son’s how to grow up to be men, to grow old. No more love, no more exhilaration, no more wonder, awe, curiosity, satisfaction,joy.
Maybe it’s different for me because every few months I get CT scans and see my doctor to find out if my cancer is back. And get to see which of my friends is dead. Trust me, when I finish every day, I want to feel like there’s no juice left to squeeze out of it. But everyone would appreciate life more in that circumstance, right ?
So go ahead. Convince yourself how bad you’ve got it. How ‘unlucky’ you’ve been. . That people have no right to be happy because of what a miserable, sad place the world is. What you would do with your life if only you had been given ‘better breaks’, a different family, more money, better genetics, whatever. Keep convincing yourself you’ve got every right to be bitter, negative, unhappy or disappointed.
Keep wasting the beautiful gift you’ve been given, until it’s gone.
Petr R:
(I’m sure he won’t read this, but maybe someone here knows how to pass this on?)
It really depends on your definition of “ill”. It *is* normal for infants and children to constantly have mild colds/runny nose/ear aches etc.
They do have–like the rest of their bodies–immature immune systems and catch a lot of the viruses and other minor ailments that adults don’t get–mostly because we got them when we were infants.
However if they’re getting *serious* illnesses, that’s a different ball o whacks.
Be aware of the worlds problems, (its hard not to be unless you live in a box), perhaps dwell on them for a while (we are all human) then turn it into positive action.
It’s like crying, if something really upsets you, a little cry can get it out of your system, then you can move on and be positive and make the change.
If you cry all day and all night, nothing will get better.
Be negative, but be positive a whole lot more.
livestrong,
). Keep on loving the life that you have to live!
Loved your response. Heck, I actually found it more inspiring than the original blog-post (no offense Mike or Ross- the blog entry was also excellent!
Regards,
Doyle
There’s a “principle” called what you resist persists. If we resist negativity, there will be more negativity. However, I’ve learned that every time I think a negative thought or feeling I wil immediately think a positive thought or do a positive action. This way, my mind and body links the positive thought or action strong enough that the negative disappears on its own. This way, there is no fighting negativity or complaining or bitching. It’s a simple way to make my life better. Great article!